Shipwrecked time
by Nicklemaw
Summary: Waking up on shipwrecked a land which vaguely resembles what its called, Jane must traverse the land of Ooo to get back home! Meeting friends along the way, she must get home before what ever is trying to get with her catches up with her...


SHIPWRECKED TIME

The ground was chalky, it cracked underneath your boots, disturbing the absolute silence of desolate landscape. People littered the great craters and sloping hills, all peacefully asleep, yet not breathing at all. The only thing which wasn't asleep here was death, and he wasn't one for breathing.

The king of Mars held a child in his hands. The child could have been ten or a hundred years old- after living for so long most creatures were children to him. This one, this one was different though.

"death." Abraham spoke into the wasteland. Death promtly answered.

A rattle of bones, and death stood in front of him, stock still apart from the rattle of his head. "_Yes__?"_

"I need this one back."

Death inclined his head. "_That's a no go, she ain't from where you're from."_ A sinister rattle finishing his sentence.

Abraham took a penny out of his pocket, tossing it to death. "Shall this be enough?"

"_yes..."_ Death whispered, the rattling in his head growing louder and louder, encompassing sound, sight, smell, everything became the rattle of the bones, a perfect whiteness...

Jane awoke, spluttering and cold, promptly sliding off the plank she had been sleeping on and into the water, her exhausted body finally kicked into action, directing her flaying hands to the piece of wood she had sleeping on.

Coughing and hacking, hacking and coughing. Jane wondered what the time was, she wondered where _she_ was. What was her name? It was Jane, most certainly Jane, Or janey?

_Pig face, blabber mouth, cry baby, FUCKING SLUT CUNT SAC- _Jane squealed, kicking a small box over the side of her little raft, one of which was most certainly not there before. She watched it drift down into the sea, Jane rubbed her eyes. They couldn't be buildings down there could there? Something seemed odd about that, buildings were supposed to be on land, weren't they?

Adding dazed and confused to her host of thoughts and feelings, she let her raft slowly touch upon a soft beach. "Well bother it." Her back cracked awfully as she heaved herself off the ramp. The summer sun was drying her clothes, but she hardly cared. Or would she have?

Would she have? What kind of question was that? Jane didn't know, she hardly knew herself. Who was she? She liked the sea air, that was something. It should remind her of something...

A rustle at her feet, and an army of crabs were assembling. "uh-oh." Jane bit her lip, standing a few feet back.

The crabs scurried to and fro, forming a semblance of a message "WELCOME TO OOOO".

Jane gave a start, biting her lip harder and wincing a little, "Uh-oh." _Speak up lass! These good folks are being polite and your standing their like a Nelly!_

"Uh, thank you fellas..." Jane raised an eyebrow. They were hurrying about, practically leaping over themselves, which only added to their confusion, and much like a class making a drama performance in less than ten minutes, it took far longer with a lot more hissing and spitting.

"WATCH OUT FOR THOSE TROLLS!" It said. Odd, Where were the trolls?

_Oh you prat- _it was far worse than a "it's behind you moment!" Because nothing can be worse than the smell that clung around her, but its seems like her list of worse things suddenly took it up a notch, as the monstrous creature which had swung her up into the air began to chuckle. Chuckle being a generous term.

"Uh oh uh oh uh oh! Whaz we gut 'ere?" One said, great big nose sniffing her hair as she dangled upside down. "Uh oh uh oh uh oh!"

Jane screamed, wriggling and punching the grotty hand, resulting in a quick clobber on the sand, the crabs making themselves scarce with a little SORRY message before disappearing into the sand. _You can say sorry all you like, _jane thought, _fat lot of good that's going to do. _After another clobbering, Jane blacked out, which was rather unfortunate, as the crabs had come with a counter-attack, in which many would die valiantly in the fight against the Goooo, and would eventually go back empty handed. Jane was dragged away into the forest, with a gasp of disbelief from the witch which had been watching through her looking pie.

"Crivens!" The witch garbled, throwing her long mess of red hair back. "Tha wee lass is oot for the coont!"

She would see to it the lass was alright, she could always spy a curse when she saw one, she set to work baking her cherry pies, hoping the laddies would come in time.


End file.
